In my office, my colleagues often talk about what they’ve been reading. Now, I love a good story. I even applied for a managing editor position at BuzzFarmers, but the bosses told me my experience made me better suited for the housecarl position.
As you can probably guess, holding the book and turning pages sans thumbs can be difficult, so I have to rely on the humans. But Dalziel from Narrative Technologies is so lucky! His mom – the boss – reads all the new Lithomobilus releases to him. I’ll bet all the office dogs would love a gig like this. Hmmm, how can I add “reading time” to my co-workers’ job responsibilities?
Napa: What breed are you?
Dalziel: I’m a Scottish Terrier. I was bred for killing vermin, and since we live out in the woods, I get to chase squirrels and mice. Normally, though, I just catch and kill tennis balls.
Napa: How did your parents choose your name?
Dalziel: ”Dalziel” is a Scottish surname that means “small field.” Dalziel is also the name of a fictional detective that my mom likes. She’s a huge mystery fan, and I’m nervous that she’s thinking of getting me one of those Sherlock Holmes hats for Halloween. Not dignified. At all.
Napa: Tell me more about Narrative Technologies and Lithomobilus.
Dalziel: Narrative Technologies makes e-reader and noveling software. Lithomobilus, the e-reader, works on an iPad. I like it because all the pages scroll, which I can do with my big paws. It allows for multi-threaded, interactive stories. Like, if I wanted to make a story about me and my sister Dagmar and my other sister Esme, you’d be able to read them all. People with iPads can download it from the App Store by looking for Zoetic Press.
Napa: That’s so awesome! Do you ever get to read the writing before it’s released?
Dalziel: Mom reads most things to me. She really likes reading out loud. I think she believes I know what she’s saying, but all I know is that “reading out loud” time is actually “sit on the lap and get petted” time. I’ll take it.
Napa: How did you get your job at Narrative Technologies?
Dalziel: My mom gets really buried in her work, and doesn’t like to meet people as much as I do. She hired me to make sure that she leaves her desk a few times every day and gets outside for a walk. I can’t believe that she NEVER wants to go outside! I also have to make sure that her ball-throwing skills don’t get rusty.
Napa: How long have you been working there?
Dalziel: I’ve been working here nearly all my life. I’m still just a kid – my half-birthday was August 7 – and I’ve been working this job since April. I was a tiny ball of fluff (I’ve seen the pictures) when I started, but I like to think that I have earned my mom’s favorite nickname for me: “Little Man.”
Napa: What is a typical day like in the Narrative Technologies office?
Dalziel: My typical day starts early. I wake my Dad up at 5 to make sure that he gets a breath of fresh air before it gets light out. That’s important. Then, after breakfast, it’s time to play tug-of-war for a while – Dad seems to really love it. Then it’s time to go to work. I get in my carseat in Mom’s car, and we drive through the woods to the office. We park in the parking structure, and then I have to stop and say hello to everyone we pass on the street on the way in. It can take us 15 minutes to walk that half block. By then, I really need a nap, so I sack out on my mat. Then, just before lunch, it’s time to take Mom for a walk. I get another nap after lunch, and another walk, and then another walk later in the afternoon. Sometimes, Mom has meetings, and I have to go to make sure that things don’t get out of hand. I sit in a meeting chair just like everyone else, and sometimes I’m so excited that I have to talk, too. Every day, we go to the post office and Mom checks her mail. The ladies at the post office all love me, and we stop by the counter to say hi and give kisses, because I’m all about spreading the love.
Napa: I’ll bet you have a lot of job responsibilities. What is it that you do?
Dalziel: I make sure Mom gets to go for walks. I keep her feet and lap warm when the office is chilly. I pick up any dropped bits of lunch (and sometimes bits that aren’t actually dropped, but happen to be near me). I greet office visitors and kiss them hello. I act as a therapy friend for a lot of people who used to have a Scottie, but don’t anymore. I let them love me and pet me, and I remind them why they loved their special friend. Unlike some Scotties, I’m an equal-opportunity lover, and will kiss pretty much anyone, right on the face. At home, I’m responsible for making sure my sisters, who are much, much older than me, get enough exercise, because if I didn’t chase them, they would nap all day long.
Napa: Whose desk do you sit under most often?
Dalziel: I’m not a big fan of under the desk. I would rather lie in front of the fan and feel the cool breeze through my fur.
Napa: When you get bored around the office (in between tasks), how do you keep busy?
Dalziel: My mom understands that I really like to bite things, and she’s made it clear that some things are “her” things, and I shouldn’t bite them, so she’s given me a LOT of toys of my own. I have goat toes, bully sticks, stuffed animals, and Nylabone teething rings that I can chew on. Mom puts them all into my cave every night, and I spend most of every morning taking them back out and spreading them around the office.
Napa: What’s the best thing you’ve ever eaten around the office (even if you weren’t supposed to)?
Dalziel: My human sister once dropped a chocolate-covered caramel, and, being helpful, I picked it up for her, but it tasted so amazing that I couldn’t stop chewing on it. And then it was so sticky that I couldn’t stop chewing. That was great! Way better than all those times that I see something little and fast on the sidewalk and I chase it and catch it and bite it and it just turns out to be another leaf.
Napa: What’s your favorite funny dog video? Share the link if possible!
Napa: Do you usually spend your day with the same human or different humans? Explain.
Dalziel: I go everywhere with my Mom, so it’s mostly the two of us. But she has lots of friends in her office that I like, and sometimes they want to take me for a walk, and I like that. And there’s another guy in her office, and sometimes when she has to go out, I hang out with him.
Napa: What is one office task that you’re not allowed to do, but you’d secretly love to do?
Dalziel: I would LOVE to take out the trash. Sure, I can’t lift the can, or open the bin down the hall, but I can take the stuff out of the can, one thing at a time, and make sure that it’s something we really should be throwing out. Sometimes, they throw out the craziest things – like apple cores or the wrappers from yummy things that are still LOADED WITH FLAVOR, even if the stuff is gone. I can’t believe that they just throw this stuff away, instead of licking every single molecule of deliciousness off it first. Humans really don’t know how to appreciate things. Sometimes, when I think no one’s looking, I will try to empty the trash. I rarely get more than one or two things out of the can before someone catches me and puts it all back again. Maybe when I’m bigger.
Napa: Share a funny story.
Dalziel: My mom likes to snuggle. She likes it at night just before bed when she’s sitting on the couch reading and I snuggle up next to her. Once, we were both in her bed and she was reading a book, and I was snuggled up next to her, but then I realized I had to go outside. I tried to get her attention by biting her hair and licking her ear, but she just thought I was being playful. I tried to tell her, but when she didn’t listen … I peed on her head.
Yeah. She took that about as well as you might expect.
Napa: If you could tell your human co-workers anything, what would it be?
Dalziel: I would tell my humans to nap more. They get up in the morning and stagger around like they’re still tired. Then they go into the office and stare at their glowy boxes and drink coffee and complain about how tired they are – but they never nap! How crazy is that!? I think if they would just take a little snooze in the middle of the day, they’d feel so much better, and want to run around more.
Oh, and don’t be afraid to eat stuff just because someone threw it on the sidewalk. There’s some AMAZING DELICIOUSNESS on the sidewalk.
Napa: Can you share any advice for other office dogs?
Dalziel: Nobody likes a talker. It’s okay if the people talk, but they don’t want to hear it from you.
You don’t have to guard this place. You can just relax and be friendly to everyone. Guarding is the receptionist’s job.
Some walks are “hang out, smell stuff, take your time” walks, and some walks are “do your business and keep moving” walks. That’s just the way it is.
Are you an office dog? Is your co-worker a canine? We’d love to hear from you! Get in touch via email or leave a note in the comments section below!
Side note: Do you run a business in the pet industry? Would you like to drive more traffic and sales to your site through a search-optimized pet blog? Get in touch with my office-mates at Lantern Content Marketing!